Death, Loss, Trauma & Grace
Death, loss, and trauma. These are big topics. Today I want to talk about how to find the grace inside the trauma. It may not be apparent, but if you look, you can find some kind of opportunity in whatever happens in your lives. Maybe not while you are in the middle of it, but when things settle and you choose to make the time for quiet reflection and to look for that opportunity, something will surface.
I’ve been teaching yoga for more than 20 years. I’m an expert at using asana practice to untangle patterns in the body that are creating tension, tightness and lack of flexibility. I’m also good at figuring what kind of practice would best address a variety of needs for any student of any age, with any level of flexibility and strength as long as they are willing to do their part and practice! I also ran a registered yoga teacher training school for about 10 years. I’m pretty sure I learned as much, if not more, than my students did. Not by design but by simply deciding to be a perpetual student always looking at myself. It’s never going to be a bad idea to look at yourself more deeply and thoroughly to understand what makes you tick. You might be surprised what you learn.
Trauma and grace. These words can't be more completely opposite in both meaning and energy. So why am I talking about them in the same blog? Because within my trauma, I found grace. I don’t think I’m special. I know anyone can find grace if they look and truly want to find it. I experienced what I would call my first real trauma about 2 months ago with the sudden death of my beloved partner of 15 years. Because I'm very mindful about the words I use, and maybe some level of good karma, I really hadn’t ever labeled anything that had happened to me as a traumatic experience. Even a really bad car accident I had 8 years ago when I broke my back in two places had not gotten that label which might seem bizarre but it’s true. I now know the trauma my body experienced, but for 8 years, I just knew my body had changed. But that’s another blog!
With my Mercury in the first house, I am a strong communicator with lots of information and a broad understanding of the energy and power of words. We all know about saying things without thinking but we can also use the wrong words and unknowingly create confusion. I’m sure we all know a fast talker! So just slowing down your communication a little will make it easier for you to pay more attention to the words you’re using. That way you can create more of what you want, to be understood, and less of what you don't want, confusion. I met this incredible human once who was into composting certain words in favor of other words with less negative meanings or implications. So for instance instead of using the word trauma, she used the words beautiful dangerous assignment. Take a minute and feel the difference of those two ways of describing the same thing. Which experience would you prefer? She understood, like I do, the energy of words and the power of that energy to create an experience. Think about that. If I say I’ve been traumatized, if I use that word, that label, I can expect to have that experience. It can be no other way. That is precisely how we create our reality and why we need to be fully aware of the words we are using. There are times however, when a word of that magnitude, with that power and energy, is appropriate. My boyfriend Mark’s death is one of those times.
I know that I create or call in everything that is happening in my life. I take full responsibility. In that responsibility, there is the power to change what isn’t aligned with what I want, or isn't aligned with truth. Why did I call a traumatic experience into my life? What do I need to better understand? How can I use this experience to help others? As I reflected on those questions, a powerful understanding and realization began to unfold. The grace began to reveal itself.
I have chosen in this life and many others, to be in service to the light, to be a source of information and support, a guide, a mentor. I channel information, guidance and light from other realms to assist others and the planet. I’ve always been very intuitive and once I started really listening to those hunches it naturally developed my psychic abilities which took a quantum leap through some very powerful spiritual and journey experiences. I’ll talk about those experiences in another blog so stay tuned.
In my therapy practice, I see people every day who are having a wide range of experiences, including trauma. And having my own personal experience of trauma has given me a much better understanding of how people feel during and after trauma and what might help based on what helped me. Having my own experience taught me things in a way nothing else could. What you learn from navigating your own experience of trauma can’t be overstated. My experience upgraded what I had to offer others in need. It enhanced my compassion and empathy for others. That is grace. The trauma was a path to grace.
2020 has been a year like no other. Many have experienced trauma of one kind or another. Our planet is in chaos and turmoil and the divisive energies are at an all time high. Has there been a time of greater need for grace? What if each trauma had a path, that if followed, led to grace? What if we set it up this way? What if we need trauma to wake us up to the grace that is right here, right now if we only have the eyes to see it? Each and every person deserves grace. And if what I have to offer is to be taken to the next level I must continue to grow, expand and free myself. The traumatic experience I had represents that kind of growth and expansion that can and will be used to help others. That takes the negative charge of the trauma to a positive charge of helping others. How amazing is that? To me, that is grace. It is really as simple as looking for the opportunity in every single moment.