How to Create Conscious Habits
As I sat down today to write, I was guided to take a pause and consider in a way that I had not, what the word habit means. Some of you may know from previous blogs that I am a sort of word fanatic. And habit is a word that is often used in a very dualistic way as in good habits and bad habits. That dualism is something I do pay attention to and aim to actually stay away from. Hmm. What does this mean? In addition to that, habits are things that can easily become unconscious and everything for me is about being more conscious. I probably don’t need to get so hung up about a name but I was listening to one of my absolute favorite teachers of all time that I am currently obsessed with and he made this distinction and it really caught my attention. So I decided to just talk about it. And see where it led me. My guides have been encouraging me to do automatic writing and for whatever reason I've been dragging my feet getting started with that process. As I begin my writing, I ask that the words and messages that will best support others flow through me and out into the world. I don’t want this to be about me, it’s not. It’s about how to be of service and support during challenging times. I had an instant knowing when Covid happened that what was happening was what I had been preparing for for many years. And it’s interesting because I would definitely say I developed some great routines or habits that have been essential in my continuing journey to understand my existence. But I see now, as I write, that there was often a “doing” energy involved. I would even say I was going to “do” my practices. But it’s not been my experience that the doing energy brings much fruit. Which is another entanglement of our sadhana or practices we engage in to become more conscious. This idea of wanting something out of it, the fruit of the action is an entanglement. As Matt Kahn says, it’s not something you have to do but something you get to do. Priceless right? You get to do it. If you think you have to in order to get something or to get somewhere, you will most likely be disappointed. Whatever ways you choose to connect with whatever you like to connect with, is not at all about doing. I’m sure you’re like me and can do lots of things with very little direct attention on exactly what you are doing. And when we are doing it, it can easily become rote, routine or habitual meaning that it lacks the devotion and awareness that is the real fuel for the connection. When we come to our practices with curiosity and joy, allowing them to unfold each day in their own unique way, our experiences often change and we begin to enjoy them because we are in joy and wonder as we make it a priority to take this time to be in direct relationship with the forces of existence. Letting things unfold is a beautiful skill. Many of us spend a lot of time trying to figure out what we are going to do about this or that and meanwhile what we need to do is exactly nothing. The doing energy just takes over before we know it and becomes the dominant energy we use to live our lives.
Without the open energy of simple connection and the conscious choice that this is not only worth your time and attention but essential for your well being, rote routines and habits happen. When you are fully conscious, aware, and present with ANYTHING you are doing you not only have a much different experience but you create a habit of awareness that will serve you the rest of your life. So certain habits that are based in awareness and presence can and do have a powerful impact in your life. And only through creating that habit of awareness, of taking a few deep breaths before you say something in a challenging situation for example is a good thing!
The key is being fully attentive and aware and to see things just as they are and not how we’d like them to be. Certainly there are days when we do not feel like sitting in meditation or doing breathwork or moving our bodies or eating well. And we go through the motions as they say and do it anyway. Yes, we could say this was rote but it is also a level of discipline that will serve you the rest of your life. Many times I came to my meditation cushion and said the mantra I had been given the agreed upon number of times accompanied by the other things I had knowingly agreed to do when I accepted the practices and the mantra. No way I was fully present and aware much less feeling happy that I got to do this! But I was still there as I agreed to be. And there is great value there. I know that without a doubt. There was a time that I would say I terrorized myself about the practices I thought were necessary for me to do each day. It was around 2 hours to do it all. And some days it just didn’t happen. If I couldn't or didn’t carve out that whole two hours I would do nothing and then beat myself up over that. Not really a successful way to connect huh. Not only was there a doing energy involved but I wanted to get something I thought I didn't have and needed and I thought this was the fastest way to get it. Wow. This is a beautiful lesson unfolding as I'm writing this!! Just as we always do, I set this up exactly this way so that I could reflect back on all this just as I’m doing. Eventually I decided to release myself from the need to do anything. I knew the energy was off and on top of that, I didn’t think it was working. I still didn’t have what I wanted and didn’t really know if I was any closer or not and honestly kinda felt like it just wasn’t working for me.
Once I gave myself permission to not do anything, I began to explore other ways of connecting with the universe and with my guides and teachers. And through those experiences, I came full circle back to the very same practices I had released myself from as the foundation for what I understand about my existence. I saw just how beautifully and perfectly I had been served by them and the enormous value they had in my life. I know that if it weren’t for some very good habits done both consciously and unconsciously I may be telling a different story.
This was a very cool automatic writing experience. I hope it makes sense. I’m not going to change it. I pay too much attention sometimes to things that no one else does. My fingers were flying and there were very few errors. And it was fun. I hope you found something interesting in what I shared. I very much appreciate your support and interest.